Why do they withhold sex for such long periods of time?

created May 07 '07
  • spot
  • 0 care points

6 replies



Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone
suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following
lengthy tests and personal interviews.


What is the typical profile of a homosexual narcissist?


I am a heterosexual and thus deprived of an intimate acquaintance with
certain psychological processes, which allegedly are unique to homosexuals.
I find it hard to believe that there are such processes, to begin with.
Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological
make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences - and a
heterosexual narcissist.

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Women narcissists

Narcissists are people who fail to maintain a stable sense of self-worth.
Very often somatic narcissists (narcissistic who use their bodies and their
sexuality to secure Narcissistic Supply) tend to get involved in
extra-marital affairs. The new "conquests" sustain their grandiose fantasies
and their distorted and unrealistic self-image.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):


Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually and to what extent
are they likely to be unfaithful in marriage?


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Narcissists are repulsed and intimidated by intimacy

Our sexual behavior expresses not only our psychosexual makeup but also the
entirety of our personality. Sex is the one realm of conduct which involves
the full gamut of emotions, cognitions, socialization, traits, heredity, and
learned and acquired behaviors. By observing one's sexual predilections and
acts, the trained psychotherapist and diagnostician can learn a lot about
the patient.

Inevitably, the sexuality of patients with personality disorders is thwarted
and stunted. In the Paranoid Personality Disorder, sex is depersonalized and
the sexual partner is dehumanized. The paranoid is besieged by persecutory
delusions and equates intimacy with life-threatening vulnerability, a
"breach in the defenses" as it were. the paranoid uses sex to reassure
himself that he is still in control and to quell is anxiety.

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Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either
generate their Narcissistic Supply by applying their bodies or by applying
their minds.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

Most patients with the Histrionic Personality Disorder are women. This
immediately raises the question: Is this a real mental health disorder or a
culture-bound syndrome which reflects the values of a patriarchal and
misogynistic society? A man with similar traits is bound to be admired as a
"macho" or, at worst, labeled a "womanizer".

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She shifts uneasily in her seat: "I like to flirt. A little flirting never
hurt nobody is what I say."

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

Take care.


----- Original Message -----
From: "spot"
Sent: Sunday, May 06, 2007 7:31 PM
Subject: [npd] sex

created May 07 '07

Hey spot,
Well in my experience with my first husband, who I think might have been a "cerebral narcissist", he would rather take care of himself sexually or literally use my body to "j-o".
From what I have read, when someone has this, they don't really feel comfortable with intimacy. They may not kiss you on the lips anymore, or if it's a male and you are a female, he may ALWAYS want to take you from behind, or vice versa. Maybe it's because they can fantasize about anything they want and not have to engage with you personally.
It is VERY heartbreaking!!! VERY! I chnaged the whole course of my life for a person like that, and now that person is still exactly the same...making life all about him and just writing off anyone who will not cater to his need for narcisstic supply.
I belive that once you are commited in a relationship with someone like a cerebral narcissist and they know they "have" you, then, they can channel their impulses onto pornographic images or actual people, in some cases, or just wierd as it might seem.
I wish you the best. You deserve much more!

created Jun 07 '07

Hi Spot,
I can relate to what you are asking. My boyfriend does the same thing. It can be weeks in between sexual relations. I am beginning to think he is gay.
I want out of this but he won't go and gets violent when I try to leave. He doesn't have a job and doesn't care to get one. I am gone 14 hours a day because I travel to my job daily. I work at an underground metal mine, am 43 years old and am quite tired when I get home. He does nothing all day, not even mow the lawn. If I ask him to do something he either gets mad or says he'll do it, but never does it.
Just last night he let my dog out the front door knowing the dog wouldn;t stick around. He did it just to spite me.
Just want you to know you are not alone.

created Jun 24 '07

Hi Spot -

While my husband withdrew from any sexual relations with me (which in itself was his way of demonstrating control over me, because it left me feeling insecure and sad) he had PLENTY of sexual relations with other women.
So, in that case, I'd say it is a form of control....

On the other hand, I knew that before 'our' relationship he not only held a fulltime position while stationed overseas (Germany) he also put himself thru college, having to go back and forth by train and bus, each way taking almost an hour and a half. Studying, working AND having a small family (wife and kid at that time). He told me while he was totally into reading alot (a lot of Noam Chomsky), preparing his thesus, writing his own book, and helping his wife with her thesus, his need for any sexual activity was nihil.
I would say in that case he was so busy with his cerebral gratification; it diminised the need for sexual gratification.


created May 30 '07

Dear all,

From my experience and research, narcissists do not seek partners they seek supply for attention, and will stop at nothing to get it. 

They do not like intimacy, and only have sex with partners because they enjoy the admiration.  Bor bwcause they fancy them.

created Feb 02 '13

Not because they fancy them.  once hooked they will avoid sex like the plague.  They prefer porn, because they can fantasise about their ideals without having to be intimate with them.

They may also withdraw sex to punish and emotionally abuse you, to make themselves feel more powerful.


They will never make you feel loved and cherished.  You wil

created Feb 02 '13
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